Oh, Henry! Iranian Headache

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There has been quite a lot of commotion about the recent agreement by the government of the Republic of Iran to ship 1200 kilograms of low-enriched Uranium to Turkey, bringing it into compliance with the Atomic Energy Agency’s October agreement negotiated by the U.S., Russia, France and Iran.

The delay compliance by the Iranians is not accidental. Waiting these six months has ensured that they can ship the specified amount of uranium and still have enough in stock from which to construct an atomic device.  Further, they are retaining the right to continue to enrich uranium for future use.

This is not surprising at all. Let me tell you, as someone who has experience dealing with the Arabic mind, that they are among the most treacherous maniacs on earth.  Every word they say has at least three meanings, and a few hidden ones. They are filled with malice and will never turn their backs on an opportunity to make a deal to their advantage.

The problem with dealing with Arabs is that they are a race of cheats, con artists, and scoundrels. Fraud and swindling are as much a genetic trait in them as is their oily nature and unsettling smiles. Not only that, they use the fact that they are innately repulsive to everyone to help them gain the upper hand.  So although they are finally acquiescing to the letter of the original agreement, they are doing so in a way they know the west cannot accept, thus allowing them to appear the victimized party – brutally oppressed by the never-satisfied western powers.

In the absence of a military reprisal, the only tool available to the international coalition is economic.  And applied successfully, sanctions could be quite effective against the Iranians. They are people that do not do well with privation. They are spoiled, greedy, materialistic, and addicted to the gaudy trappings of status. Take away their ability to buy Gucci sunglasses or French colognes and suddenly you’ll find them quite conciliatory. But that won’t happen as long as the Russians and Chinese keep the tap open to designer handbags and Italian loafers.

But the real work here will be with the Brazilians and Turks, who actually brokered this deal. These opportunistic lampreys must believe that this is their chance to make their bones on the international scene. The advantages for both are clear: Turkey will improve it’s standing in Europe and help it secure admission into the EU, while Brazil seeks to emerge as the power in South America.

So rather than waste time speaking with the Iranians, what the US, British, and French need to do is have more private negotiations with the Russians, Chinese, Turks and Brazilians. They still have some sway with Iran. For every one contact with Iran there must be five behind the scenes contacts with them. It’s vital to convince them it’s in their interest to not trade with the Iranians. One hand washes the other.

And the time is right.  These people will be completely preoccupied with the World Cup in June and July, and the last thing they'll want to do is sit for hours on end in sweltering rooms with swarthy, cuminy Iranians when they could be enjoying a game of soccer.  Diplomacy is the art of using the weaknesses of others against them. It's time to press our advantage.

Gehen Gazint!