This site best viewed with Firefox

Mexican Standoff

My fellow Americans,

As the protests and reactions to anti-Illegal Immigrant legislation in Arizona continue to swirl the lawyers are now getting ready to argue whether or not the law is constitutional.  If you stop and think about it, the fact that a law making illegal immigrants illegal may itself be illegal is kind of ironic.

The actual legislation has plenty of problems, and is most likely going to be struck down by the courts. Not only does it appear that it will encourage institutionalized racial profiling, but the provision mandating investigation of immigration status seems to violate the protection against unwarranted search and seizure guaranteed by the 4th amendment, quite probably rendering the law unconstitutional.

But let’s be honest with ourselves.  This law was never really about addressing Illegal Immigration.  There are already more than enough laws about illegal immigration on the books. This law is about whipping the flag-sucking dunderheads into a frenzy by telling them that it’s necessary to protect our sovereignty.  It’s just a shiny piece of foil dangled in front of a group of retards.  It plays on their latent fears and draws their attention while letting them raise a righteous anger and drape themselves in patriotic slogans.  More than that, it assures them that things are not their fault.  It’s because of the other guy.  In other words, it’s another ploy to make the Orthogonians feel like they are being victimized.

And it’s as old as time itself.  The ancient Hittites would constantly complain about those un-cultured Assyrians.  The Romans used the Gauls as their whipping boy.  The Soviets would scapegoat the filthy and lazy Uzbeks.  And back in the 1800's we had the Irish and the Italians.  And now we have the Mexicans.

It’s a subtle political strategy I used throughout my political life. I knew that the boogeyman of communism is fine, but it’s a conceptual threat.  It’s not real. Not tangible.  So, I also used real scapegoats, like hippies and civil rights activists.  Real threats that the Silent Majority can see, hear, and smell.  And just like hippies and civil rights activists, Mexicans are a good release for the inherent Prejudice and Fear of the Orthogonians.  Someone real on whom we can blame all our problems.  The economy stinks?  Well it’s because the Mexicans are taking all the jobs.  Healthcare is broken?  It’s because the Mexicans are flooding the emergency rooms without paying.  Too many drugs?  It’s because the Mexicans are pushing dope.  Teen pregnancy?  Those hot-blooded Mexicans are sexing up our daughters.  Traffic? All the damn Mexicans on the roads.  Global warming?  Well, Mexicans eat a lot of beans, which causes them to fart, which increased greenhouse gasses.

You get the picture.

And it works. We conservatives have always been able to solidify our base by manufacturing a common enemy, then using it as a way to scare the feeble-minded into supporting us. It’s the political analogy of the second law of thermodynamics. In physics kinetic energy increases in proportion to entropy.  In politics, power increases in proportion with fear.

Which brings us back to the Arizona law.  This law was written with the 2010 mid-term elections in mind, and was intentionally designed to fail.  The Orthogonians out there waving their flags and shouting patriotic platitudes are just sheep, bleating along in their willful ignorance as they’re herded by the GOP.  And when this law is overturned the republicans intend to convert the anger of the rubes into votes against the liberals who coddle  immigrants.

Manipulation never goes out of style.  Because there will never be a shortage of nincompoops out there.

Nixon Approves