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Extreme Justice

My fellow Americans,

Many of you may not be aware of a significant decision by the US Supreme Court today. In United States vs Comstock, the Supreme Court voted 7 -2 (with Justices Thomas and Scalia dissenting) that the federal government has the right to hold a person convicted of a federal sexual offense beyond the completion of their prison term if they are deemed to be a still be "sexually dangerous." According to the Justice Breyer (writing in the majority opinion),
[Congress has the right to enact laws] to punish [sexual criminals'] violation, to imprison violators, to provide appropriately for those imprisoned and to maintain the security of those who are not imprisoned by who may be affected by the federal imprisonment of others.
In other words, the federal government can keep someone in prison for as long as they want. Provided they claim he is still a danger.

Now, much of the legal gibberish in the actual decision involves requiring the federal authorities prove that the individual is still a threat and that releasing him would cause a threat to the community. On the surface, that seems to be in agreement with the spirit of the 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, and 8th amendments (all of which cover laws and legal rights).  But let's be real.  For all practical purposes what it does is allow the government to accuse, try, and convict a person of a crime they haven't yet done but may commit.  It's pre-emptive justice: you will be sentenced to an indefinite extension of your prison term because it is likely you will commit a crime in the future.

It's beautiful.  A sublime act of Orwellian philosophical gymnastics. The government will proactively convict people on their potential to commit crime in order to protect the innocent rubes out there. Oh sure, some of the liberals may yowl about freedom, due process, and fascism, but nobody will take them seriously.  The Orthogonians will support it because it's about protecting them from sex-crazed perverts looking to repeatedly sodomize their children and use them for other unspeakable pleasures of the flesh.  Oppression is easy if you can sell it as protection.  Remember, the nazis didn't come into power by the muzzle of a gun, they did so by exploiting fear.

The more I think about this ruling the more I like it. And I mean I like it a lot.  It's a good Nixon ruling, and I only wish this would have been decided back in '68.  Think of what I could have done. I could have used the DOJ as my own personal hit-squad ensuring compliance of the press and keeping the radicals on the left in line by tossing them in the hoosgow because of the problems they might cause. My enemies list would have become a court docket for immediate prosecution. It's the exact system the Soviets and the Chinese had at their disposal to keep their people in line.  And it worked.  Hell, all I would have needed is a couple of shrewd Jew lawyers to help out John Dean, and we could have really cleaned house, throwing the radical hippies, treacherous intellectuals, and militant negroes in jail simply by showing they could commit crimes.  There would have been no Watergate hoopla because we wouldn't have been forced to go underground to take care of the problem.  All we'd have needed to do was grab Woodward & Bernstein, a few of those pinkos in congress, and other rabble-rousers and put them away.

Oh, if only I was born 40 years later.

Nixon Approves


jguywrite said...

Very funny. I love how you point out the Nixonian move by the Supreme Court. It would've been a wet dream for Tricky Dick Nixon.