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Kruschev's Korner: Is All Greek To Me


Good morning, Comrades and also Imperialists,

Today I am very sad about situation in Greece.  Greece is, as you know, second cradle of civilization after Kiev.  Many good ideas come from Greece, and is also source of raw material for Great Soviet Cyrillic Alphabet, as well as source of word "alphabet."

Now Greeks are in bolshoi mess because of borrow money from decadent Capitalists and cannot pay back. Why to pay back?  Only to borrow more from same Capitalists and buy and sell with them.  West makes lending only for profit.  Is never to help Greeks! We offer better alternative: scientifically proven superior model of production called Marxism

Treacherous Germans are saying Greeks are being lazy bums who know not how to save money. We Russians can better teach them how is save money.  When Krushchev was poor metal worker in Eastern Ukraine city of Yuzovka I had not two kopeks to rub together for warmth in winter.  Then Comrade Stalin encourage everyone to save and scrimp in order to  build glorious Soviet Industrial base.  He encourage with bayonets and KGB.  When I became Premier, budget was tight an American Military Complex was making for Soviet Union to spend more every year to protect of our sovereign nation from American aggression.  I used clever Ukrainian common sense and saved money by to rely on missiles for Soviet defense instead of tanks and planes.  Missiles more efficient than build many tanks and aircrafts.  Maybe not every missile worked, but was always great deterrent.  Imperialist Americans could not bear thought that even one of mighty Soviet missiles might actually find target and blow up.  Even better, my strategy worked like brilliant and forced Kennedy to remove Americanski missiles from Turkey and so eliminated threat to Soviet Union.

Da, we can teach our brothers the Greeks great lesson that is very bad idea to just borrow borrow borrow always from Western Capitalists. But will be hard road for us in teaching Greeks.  Today, Greeks are lazy like good-for-nothing Uzbeks, and must learn importance of work!  Is no good all day to drinking ouzo and play briscola.  In Soviet Union everyone must contribute!  Even stari babushki did work - if only to sweep sidewalks in Red Square - everyone always has duty to contribute to Soviet glory.  We teach this important lesson to Albania, and if Albanian can learn then so can Greek.  After all, who can think Albanians are better or smarter than Greeks?

So you see, question is not "Shall Greeks Tighten Belts?"  but  "For Why Shall Greeks Tighten?"  For self-righteous Germans?  For self-serving Dutch? For double-dealing English and unreliable French?  For organs of Capitalist Imperialism such as IMF that is only love money?  Are Greeks supposed to be mules and do their bidding?

My friends, the answer is "Nyet!"  Greek is not even allow himself to be ruled by another Greek.  How then could they submit to whip of Western running dogs?  Even now, Greeks show anger and are protesting in the streets.  Soon they will remove current Greek puppet government of Capitalist stooges and join glorious Eastern bloc family.  We shall show them how to sacrifice for benefit only of Greece!

Also, Greece have many good ports large enough for mighty Soviet Navy.

до свидания до следующего времени, капиталистов!