Extreme Justice

.
My fellow Americans,

Many of you may not be aware of a significant decision by the US Supreme Court today. In United States vs Comstock, the Supreme Court voted 7 -2 (with Justices Thomas and Scalia dissenting) that the federal government has the right to hold a person convicted of a federal sexual offense beyond the completion of their prison term if they are deemed to be a still be "sexually dangerous." According to the Justice Breyer (writing in the majority opinion),

[Congress has the right to enact laws] to punish [sexual criminals'] violation, to imprison violators, to provide appropriately for those imprisoned and to maintain the security of those who are not imprisoned by who may be affected by the federal imprisonment of others.

In other words, the federal government can keep someone in prison for as long as they want. Provided they claim he is still a danger.

Now, much of the legal gibberish in the actual decision involves requiring the federal authorities prove that the individual is still a threat and that releasing him would cause a threat to the community. On the surface, that seems to be in agreement with the spirit of the 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, and 8th amendments (all of which cover laws and legal rights).  But let's be real.  For all practical purposes what it does is allow the government to accuse, try, and convict a person of a crime they haven't yet done but may commit.  It's pre-emptive justice: you will be sentenced to an indefinite extension of your prison term because it is likely you will commit a crime in the future.

It's beautiful.  A sublime act of Orwellian philosophical gymnastics. The government will proactively convict people on their potential to commit crime in order to protect the innocent rubes out there. Oh sure, some of the liberals may yowl about freedom, due process, and fascism, but nobody will take them seriously.  The Orthogonians will support it because it's about protecting them from sex-crazed perverts looking to repeatedly sodomize their children and use them for other unspeakable pleasures of the flesh.  Oppression is easy if you can sell it as protection.  Remember, the nazis didn't come into power by the muzzle of a gun, they did so by exploiting fear.

The more I think about this ruling the more I like it. And I mean I like it a lot.  It's a good Nixon ruling, and I only wish this would have been decided back in '68.  Think of what I could have done. I could have used the DOJ as my own personal hit-squad ensuring compliance of the press and keeping the radicals on the left in line by tossing them in the hoosgow because of the problems they might cause. My enemies list would have become a court docket for immediate prosecution. It's the exact system the Soviets and the Chinese had at their disposal to keep their people in line.  And it worked.  Hell, all I would have needed is a couple of shrewd Jew lawyers to help out John Dean, and we could have really cleaned house, throwing the radical hippies, treacherous intellectuals, and militant negroes in jail simply by showing they could commit crimes.  There would have been no Watergate hoopla because we wouldn't have been forced to go underground to take care of the problem.  All we'd have needed to do was grab Woodward & Bernstein, a few of those pinkos in congress, and other rabble-rousers and put them away.

Oh, if only I was born 40 years later.

Nixon Approves

Here Comes The Judge

.
My fellow Americans,

President Obama has nominated his second Supreme Court Justice today, United States Solicitor General Elena Kagan.

Now, selecting a Supreme Court Justice is almost entirely a political thing - pandering to your supporters and extending influence into the Judicial branch.  But it's also about paying off political loan sharks and balancing the books on unspoken deals made over handshakes and whispered promises. This was particularly true for me during my presidency.

You need to realize that getting nominated for president in 1968 was very different than today. There were only a handful of open primaries and most of the delegates needed in the convention were awarded through seedy deals made in small, dark rooms filled with sweaty men chomping on cigars, knocking back slugs of bourbon, and telling jokes about Jews and Blacks. These repulsive swine were small-minded men with selfish agendas who would deliver the necessary delegates but only if you agreed to repay at an astronomical vig.  I had to supplicate myself in front of these cheap hustlers, hat in hand, and make a lot of promises - particularly to a group of racist old ward-heelers from the south.  And when it came time for me to name my first supreme court justice, these yowling rednecks demanded repayment.

I knew that the sort of person a Klansman like Strom Thurmond wanted as Supreme Court Justice would be anathema to the rest of the country.  So, I would nominate a Bircher, Clement Haynsworth, or a repulsive hack like G. Harold Carswell, knowing full well that they would be rejected by the senate.  But the hayseeds and bumpkins couldn't complain, because I had tried to give them one of their own.  That was the Nixon way.  Game the system by following the letter of the agreement but not the spirit.

It's through that sort of prism we must view President Obama's recent nominee.  While he didn't have to face the degradation of kowtowing to a gang of ruthless thugs, he still had to make a pack of promises. So, which debt does Kagan pay off?

At first glance, Kagan seems to be a very shrewd choice to address the concerns of the Orthogonians in the middle of America.  A dowdy old lawyer with an all-American story of achieving success.  Since she's not a judge she has no track record of decisions that opponents can use against her. About the worst that could be said about her is that she seems very much a Franklin; a pointy-headed Dean of Harvard Law school who sits in an overstuffed leather chair, parsing out the subtleties and nuance of legal philosophy.

There is little doubt that she'll be confirmed.  The Democrats will force a vote before the mid-term elections, guaranteeing that they have the support needed to pass her through.  It's a safe pick with a safe strategy.

The thing is, however, Obama will have at least one more nomination before the 2012 election.  Justice Ginsburg is in ill health, and likely to retire after the next session.  Had I been in Obama's position, I would have made a more bold choice for this nominee, especially knowing I had the votes needed to confirm.  Save the safe pick for next year when you may need it.  Because from here on out, things will only get more contentious.  Particularly when/if he gets to replace one of the Raging Right: Scalia, Alito, Roberts, or Thomas.

That's when the real fun starts

 

Nixon is: Contemplative